Taking the GRE

I took the GRE last night.  I almost didn't.  I kept trying to think of excuses for putting it off until I had the right amount of time to prepare.  That is until I spoke with the adviser for the program I'm applying to at the University of Utah, and she told me that the GRE is being revised to be more challenging after August 1st.  Full blown panic ensued!   I frantically began watching for cancellations at any testing center within 200 miles...like I said frantically.

Finally an opening in Pocatello!  But the drawback was that it only gave me a week to study for the exam.  I called one of my life lines to help me make the decision--Cassie.  "Do it!"  She said...several times actually because I kept asking if she was sure.  Later after I took the test she told me she scheduled 3 months in advance so she would have that much time to study...good thing she didn't tell me that beforehand!

I was a nervous wreck.  I mean I read all the fine print on the instructions in every single email they sent me...I never ever do that...I always skim.  I took exactly 4 freshly sharpened No. 2 pencils, plenty of scratch paper, 3 forms of photo ID, water, snacks...I thought of everything!  I must have looked like an eager beaver when I arrived at the testing center. Actually, more like an eager beaver that had peed her pants.  Yes you read that right.  In my haste to refill my water bottle I spilled it all over the front of my pants...well not all over because it looked like I had peed my pants. 

Before starting the test I had to sign a confidentiality form and rewrite a short paragraph in cursive.  I was so nervous & focused on filling it out exactly right that I couldn't remember how to write some letters in cursive!  I snapped out of it and pulled myself together. 

Of course it didn't help my nerves at all when they had me lock all of my things in a locker, turn the insides of my pockets out, and scan me with a metal detector.  I tried to imagine I was going through airport security, and about to embark on an exciting vacation!

So about an 1.5 hours into this grueling examination of my mind...my brain turned off.  It just quit and I had to kick start it again, by reminding myself that I must not quit or give in.  My brain may be almost 30 years old, but so is my determination!  The week of studying 2-3 hours a day paid off.  I learned strategies that helped me talk myself through each problem to come up with the best answer.

I did a lot better than I expected and it boosted my confidence.  It's one of those small triumphs that makes you think you can do anything.  Then you get yourself into some really hard and wonder why you did that to yourself.